


And So Sings the Caged Bird

by AquaEclipse



Series: In the Mind of a Maniac - Yours Truly [3]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Chinese Language, Don't Examine This Too Closely, Don't Judge Me, Education, Exams, Gen, Heavy Angst, High School, Hong Kong, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Don't Even Know, I Made Myself Cry, I Tried, Inspired by Real Events, Mental Anguish, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Poetry, Real Life, School, Song Lyrics, Teen Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-29
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2021-02-20 14:02:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22018519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AquaEclipse/pseuds/AquaEclipse
Summary: Exams are inbound as I ponder if I will ever make it in this world.
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s)
Series: In the Mind of a Maniac - Yours Truly [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1584829
Comments: 5
Kudos: 3





	And So Sings the Caged Bird

**Author's Note:**

> Here I am, going through yet another crisis! And it's less than a week until my mid-terms begin, so yeah…
> 
> TW: Academics, stress, exams, mental breakdown, real life.

I sit before the desk  
Books and notes piled beside me  
The clock is ticking  
The calendar crossed  
My time is almost up

A Maths exercise for students of lesser status than I  
Sits in front of me  
Mother says, _do not write it like this_  
 _Were you not taught this correct technique for exams?_  
My memories are hazy  
Whether from it being night or tiredness  
I am not sure  
I do not recall being taught so  
But I feel incompetent and inadequate nonetheless  
An emptiness fills my chest

 _Your teachers are somewhat incompetent_ , Mother implies  
Dad adds, _you should know, you graduated from the same school_  
 _You of all people should know the culture and quality of education on offer_  
 _And that's why I repeated a year_ , Mother dryly quips  
And so I wonder  
If my school is supposedly more elite  
Why is the education quality… substandard?

But my school is a free spirit  
While others are uptight  
So perhaps I shouldn't complain  
 _A small price to pay for salvation_ , they say

_But… academia is important here…_   
_How will I survive in the future_   
_If I am not good enough for society to take me?_

* * *

Dad says, _you ought to get into university_  
 _There is more freedom to do as you wish_  
 _Unless you pursue a Master's or above, of course_  
 _Which is when you have to keep up the score-grabbing_

 _Kau hok but si kau fun so_ , they said  
 _The purpose of learning is n_ _ot to pass exams_ , they said  
But the system is a hypocrite  
It is tailored to be precisely against this  
To be free, you must know how to rise through the ranks  
By knowing every tip and trick  
Accuracy is the key  
And speed on top of this

 _Why do you cry_ , they ask  
The last time I did, it was because I wasn't strong enough  
But now, truth be told

I was never born for this  
A free spirit  
Learning for the sake of learning  
In a system of rhythm  
Valuing memorization, not creation  
No chance to shine and breeze through

* * *

Dad says, this is lenient compared with other schools  
Just ask your old best friend  
I know this

Lenient compared with the Mainland  
 _They study 15 hours a day for the university entrance exams, and then followed by more tutoring!_  
Lenient compared with Japan  
Lenient when compared with Korea  
 _Why, East Asia, why?_ I ask

Then he continues  
Things are just the same in  
Singapore  
America  
Australia

I don't want to live on this planet anymore  
Should the statements hold any grain of truth

* * *

They say, _if you can't beat them, join them_  
But I do not wish to be a mindless soul  
Yet I am still a Hufflepuff in a world of Slytherins  
Greek among the Romans  
Divergent born in Erudite  
 _Don't stop, march on_ , the song encourages  
But how does one endure  
In a world where there is no way out?

* * *

And so sings the caged bird  
Before she is silenced forevermore

* * *

" _There's no way out of this dark place  
No hope, no future  
I know I can't be free  
But I can't see another way  
And I can't face another day_"  
- _No Way Out_ , Phil Collins ( _Brother Bear_ , Disney)

* * *

" _Natural  
A beating heart of stone  
You gotta be so cold  
To make it in this world  
Yeah, you're a natural  
Living your life cutthroat  
You gotta be so cold  
Yeah, you're a natural_"  
- _Natural_ , Imagine Dragons


End file.
